Cuts and bruises .

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Posted on Thursday, June 11, 2009 at 5:39 PM

Just Great

i hate how people
tend to expect you
to get over things,
even serious matters,
super quickly.
and nothing ever is perfect,
so of course there is eventually
something you’ll need to get over
in every situation.
there’s always something somewhere
that needs to go wrong.
it happens once,
then twice,
maybe a third time and
then you lose the count.
and you’re supposed to get over
all those things.
you know,
to move on to something else.
i doubt it’s even possible for the human brain
to do such a thing.
i know,
for myself,
that it does take me a while to get over something.

it used to be different.
i’d pretty much live in ignorance.
i’d act as if nothing could ever really reach me.
you know this protective shell you tend to
build yourself at some point in your life?
it makes you feel untouchable.
you feel nothing could ever hurt you,
and for a while you believe your little trick works.
years pass by,
and it’s been successful so far,
a few times of course you couldn’t
help but breakdown over pressure,
but in general,
your idea works,
and pretty well.
then you grow up,
and realize that all the things
you’ve been ignoring,
pretending they didn’t affect you,
acting as if they never happened,
are catching up with you after all.
it took a while,
but now they’re winning over you.
all the things you refused to deal with
are right in front of you,
and you realize how stupid you’ve been
to think the way you did.
because obviously,
you can’t just pretend that
something did not happen when it did.
broken hearts,
failed friendships,
rejection,
goals you did not accomplish,
money issues.
there are several issues.
some from years ago,
some from months ago,
some from weeks ago,
and even some from a few days ago,
all of which you refused to deal with
at the time and decided to ignore instead.
all this,
running through your mind,
feels like you’re going insane.
you try to do just what you used to do,
ignore it all,
but it doesn’t work anymore.

you’ve gone the easy way too often
and now you’re paying for it,
and maybe people around you will notice it.
you lose patience easily,
you get angry way faster than you used to,
you’re not that little innocent person you used to be,
you take more place than you used to and people don’t get it.
in all honesty,
you’re just like them now.
you aren’t more, and aren’t less.
but they’re so used to see you so little,
so ignorant,
so weak and braindead that now
it’s a shock for them to see the person
inside of you awaken.
you will lose friends.
you will get in a fight,
or two,
or three,
but that’s common things.
it’s just time to start dealing with things.
you’ve gotten older,
and little games are way over.
you have to leave the playground
and become an adult.
but people won’t support you.
first because you never asked
nor admitted you needed support before,
and then simply because they’ve got
their own issues to deal with.
they’ll expect you to get over things,
just like before,
but it won’t happen because
you’re a different person now,
and you ain’t ready to let your old self come back.
being weak is the past.
ignorance is over.
now is time for the real life,
the one where you live every minute
and become more than just a part of the scenery.

but then,
the sad part is,
you will,
whether you want it or not,
eventually go back to ignorance.
it seems as if the human brain
just can’t take that much.
any upgrades coming soon?
they’d be welcome.

like i've said,
you're a different person now.